Four reasons Donald Trump is an ass hat

27 04 2011

One should not have to lower oneself to responding to Donald Trump’s political statements. But I was moved to wrath today by Trump’s shameless self-congratulation as Obama released his birth certificate. So I’m ruining my nice lunch of strawberries and pita/hummus by writing this blog post, in the hopes that it will diffuse my anger.

Here’s a passage from the Fox news headline article:

“Trump, speaking in New Hampshire, took credit Wednesday for the president’s decision to release the document. He said his team would have to examine the birth certificate and questioned why the White House took so long, but indicated he wanted to move beyond the issue.

‘Today, I’m very proud of myself, because I’ve accomplished something that nobody else has been able to accomplish,’ Trump told reporters. ‘Why he didn’t do it when everybody else was asking for it, I don’t know. But I am really honored, frankly, to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue.’”

Where to begin. Oh, where to begin. Let’s just dive in, shall we.

First, “took credit”? I’m not disputing that this was Trump’s doing. Unquestionably Obama released his birth certificate because of The Donald’s recent antics. But why in the name of all that is reasonable would you want to take credit for this “accomplishment”? I suppose it’s because — and this is what really fires me up — birthers think that this move was politically important and necessary. (Actually, they really just want to keep finding ways to subtly undermine the President, but at least their outward claim is that it’s necessary.) Necessary? Sure, in DoubleStandardsVille. Obama has repeatedly released all the legal documents necessary to establish his birthplace. So the claim is essentially that his family has committed massive fraud amounting to treason, and duped not only the federal government, the passport office, and the American people, but also the officials in Hawaii who safeguard these documents. What evidence is there to incite such suspicion? None. Would any white president be subject to this suspicion? Have they carefully documented the birthplaces of all Republican senators? Double. Standards. Ville.

In other words, what Trump has “accomplished” here — what “nobody else has been able to accomplish” — is getting the President to do something entirely unnecessary and debasing. Why would you want to take credit for this? That would be like calling a press conference and congratulating yourself very soberly on being the only person who could get Hillary Clinton to agree to perform jumping jacks every time she goes through customs. Donald: You don’t get to take “credit” for pulling off a political stunt that debases the office of your president. Ass hat.

Second. You’re “proud” of yourself? Proud. Did I hear that right? Proud? For having trotted all over the mainstream media for the last month spouting what have now been revealed to be utter conspiracy theories firmly rooted in the all-to-fertile soil of tin-hat myth? You went on NBC and said that your team of investigators “couldn’t believe what they were finding” in Hawaii. You repeated the roundly debunked internet hoax that Obama spent $2 million covering up this story. You went on Anderson Cooper’s show and called President Obama’s grandmother a liar. You implied you had the proof to bring down the President. While Obama should never have had to release his birth certificate in the first place (c.f., first point above), now that he has, everything you’ve been saying has been proved (at best) wrong and (at worst) deliberately slanderous. But you’re proud of your actions. Good for you. Ass hat.

Third. You’re “honored to have played such a big role in hopefully, hopefully getting rid of this issue”? Oh yes, your crossed-fingers, doe-eyed expressions of hope are so believable! Gosh, golly. If only this whole silly issue had never been an issue at all! Isn’t it just the worst? I sure do hope it’s over now! OH WAIT, IT WAS ONLY EVER AN ISSUE BECAUSE YOU MADE IT ONE. Ass hat.

Fourth. Your team will need to examine the document? Oh, puh-lease. I just had to take a three-minute typing break due to my extended eye roll. Your team? Your team is the self-appointed board of experts in birth certificate vetting? Your team? The Gilligans of birth certificate research? Your team that supposedly went to Hawaii and uncovered shocking evidence that Obama’s birth certificate was “missing”? Your team that in two weeks couldn’t find the birth certificate that Obama was able to produce in a matter of hours? Your team that apparently failed to talk to any of the major officials or persons who knew anything about Obama’s birth? Your team that showed itself woefully insufficient to the task of understanding basic Hawaiian legal code? These guys who can’t find a birth certificate in a birth certificate office are the ones whose approval has to be attained before the rest of us can move on? Sure, the State of Hawaii, the Federal Government, the Passport Office, and every major media outlet including Fox News has accepted this document. But I’m just going to wait until The Donald’s team is satisfied. As I do with all my major decisions. I sure hope they get back to me soon on whether or not I did my taxes right. ASS HAT.

This is all the ugliness of the Tea Party culture writ billboard-large. Approaching the public discourse with the battering ram of speculation rather than the lock-pick of truth. Shameless manipulation of the media and stubborn allegiance to myths and rumors, hauling them from the shadowy corners into the spotlight, where, even if they’re not accepted as fact, they develop social force. Like this new claim that Obama got into Harvard via affirmative action. First: untrue. Don’t say it unless you can back it up. Second: if that were true, wouldn’t it be a pretty good defense of affirmative action? That he turned out to be smart enough to be top of his class, editor of the law review, and go on to a professorship at a major law school? Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah, annoying shit the Tea Party does. Like blind refusal to be persuaded by evidence and logic — so blind that they cannot see when it is backfiring and actually discrediting themselves. Like the seizing of anything that will discredit an opponent. Oh yeah, and good old fashioned RACISM.

Ass hat. Ass hat. Ass hat.


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5 responses

27 04 2011
Trump-eting Untruths – Technology, Communication, & Society

[...] of Obama’s Birth Certificate. An while I’d love to tear into the Donald on this issue, my friend Jessie and the Onion already beat me too it. So I’ll focus my ire at a different source: The [...]

29 04 2011
Greg

Nice work. (Also – no idea you had a blog.) I wonder why Obama dignified this with a response – if the Republicans are going to hitch their wagon to Trump’s falling star (unlikely in the long run, but possible nonetheless), let them dig this hole for as long as possible.

30 04 2011
Jessie

Greg, I wondered that, too. But I think he is smart enough to know that narratives that stick around (even crazy ones) tend to take hold in idiot voters’ minds. The media was giving it way too much air time, and not necessarily presenting it as totally crazy. But once he released the certificate and scolded the media, the story totally flipped, and now they’re tripping over themselves trying to be the loudest ones calling the birthers crazy. He totally won.

30 04 2011
Greg

Ah, I didn’t know that was the case. (I try to avoid TV news as much as possible.) I must have an overly rosy view of humanity if I thought most voters weren’t idiots, I guess.

1 05 2011
Faye Whiting

Now that that has been settled can someone now ask the TRUMP (aka ASS Hat) to prove his lineage. For example, is it true his mom is his dad’s sister?

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